Why wont my boyfriend add me on facebook

Tell you what to do.......IF you really want to be accepted without rejection and want to be nosy......Sign up as a fictional name and get a pic off the net of a beautiful girl and then see if he accepts!

I don`t see the big deal as to why he would not add ya`....(shrugs.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by BangBangShrimp

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and he won't add me as a friend on Facebook. He's told me that he doesn't log on to Facebook very often and pretty much all the people who are on his friends list added him first and he doesn't talk to them. He has a private profile, however, so I can't see who his friends are or how often he uses the site. I have jokingly complained to him about not adding me because I didn't want to make a big deal about it, but it really hurts my feelings because it makes me think that he either doesn't think very much of me or doesn't want to publicly acknowledge our relationship to his friends. I've never sent him a friend request because I don't want to be rejected by MY OWN BOYFRIEND, but he knows that I would gladly accept if he sent one to me. I understand that social networking sites have the potential to cause drama in relationships, so that's why I haven't really pushed the issue, but am I wrong to feel even somewhat slighted by this??

If I had to hear ONE MORE time about how a "virtual" website takes over REAL life, such as this, I'm going to have to shoot myself!

Look sweet cheeks! He's your boyfriend, which means obviously that you see him in person a couple of times a week, at least, right? So if that's the case, WHY do you have to hunt him down on the Internet? Perhaps the reason why he hasn't added you on Facebook is because he respects your Internet privacy.

Look honey, just because you're dating someone does NOT mean you have to know EVERY single person he's friends with, REAL or online. You're looking a REAL life example right here. My husband and I both own our own facebook's. But do we add each other as "virtual" friends"? Nope. Why bother stalking each other online? If we want to blow "kisses", we can do so at home!

The only reason I can think of why you REALLY want to be on his friends' list is just so you can "keep record" on what he does online, which crosses some "trust" issues. If that's the case, then your REAL problem is NOT why he won't add you onto his facebook -- the REAL problem is WHAT makes you SO insecure that you have to know his every single move on facebook?

Oh, and by the way, with facebook, you can still see his friends w/o having to add him to your friends' list. But don't make me be the one giving you any funny ideas now!

I don't think the whole "In a relationship with

" part is necessary, but we could at least be on each other's friends list. I won't send him a friend request first because I don't want him to feel pressured into adding me. It'd just be nice if he actually WANTED to on his own.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colossus_Antonis

That's the whole freaking point.

If it effs up for some reason, you have 300 friends (read "nosey folks") to answer to. Others like this drama in your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BangBangShrimp

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and he won't add me as a friend on Facebook. He's told me that he doesn't log on to Facebook very often and pretty much all the people who are on his friends list added him first and he doesn't talk to them. He has a private profile, however, so I can't see who his friends are or how often he uses the site. I have jokingly complained to him about not adding me because I didn't want to make a big deal about it, but it really hurts my feelings because it makes me think that he either doesn't think very much of me or doesn't want to publicly acknowledge our relationship to his friends. I've never sent him a friend request because I don't want to be rejected by MY OWN BOYFRIEND, but he knows that I would gladly accept if he sent one to me. I understand that social networking sites have the potential to cause drama in relationships, so that's why I haven't really pushed the issue, but am I wrong to feel even somewhat slighted by this??

Not at all. I think he doesn't want to add you because he is hiding something on there and doesn't want you obviously to find out. He doesn't want to deal with all the drama that's going to come out of it. He doesn't want you to ask him a thousand and one questions about people on his friend's list and comments posted.

I think you should either ask him to add you because it's disrespectful to you and hurtful as well or delete his page

Good Luck and let us know what happens after

Quote:

Originally Posted by BangBangShrimp

I don't think the whole "In a relationship with

" part is necessary, but we could at least be on each other's friends list. I won't send him a friend request first because I don't want him to feel pressured into adding me. It'd just be nice if he actually WANTED to on his own.

See my very first response to this thread please! I hate repeating myself!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BangBangShrimp

I don't think the whole "In a relationship with

" part is necessary, but we could at least be on each other's friends list. I won't send him a friend request first because I don't want him to feel pressured into adding me. It'd just be nice if he actually WANTED to on his own.

Online message boards work in scary ways.

First, I hope you are not mine. If your guy is currently living in the same town as you do, you just saved mah life

This is like cake tasting as it bakes. Insist on the facebook thing and check on his resistance to the idea. If he is militant about it, you are right about smelling a rat.

Don't send the request in. If he does not accept or calls to tell you he won't accept, it's an embarrassing embarrassment

I am not your girlfriend, so don't worry.

I'm not going to bring the Facebook issue up to him any more than I already have because although it hurts my feelings, it's not something that I want to argue about with him. That's why I'm choosing to vent about it on this message board instead.

To the woman that said she and her husband aren't on each other's friend's list and that I'm just insecure and want to track my boyfriend's every move- that's not the case. I do have some insecurities about our relationship that aren't related to Facebook, but I'm not worried that he's cheating or anything like that. I respect his privacy and understand that social networking sites can cause unneccessary drama. Maybe it's better that we're not on each other's friends list. It's not that I want him to add me to prove that our relationship is "real", and I know that some people are very private and don't want all of their Facebook "friends" in their business. I don't use Facebook much myself and most of the people on my friends list aren't truly my friends, so it just hurts me a bit that the one person that I do truly care about and who supposedly cares about me won't add me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colossus_Antonis

Online message boards work in scary ways.

First, I hope you are not mine. If your guy is currently living in the same town as you do, you just saved mah life

This is like cake tasting as it bakes. Insist on the facebook thing and check on his resistance to the idea. If he is militant about it, you are right about smelling a rat.

Don't send the request in. If he does not accept or calls to tell you he won't accept, it's an embarrassing embarrassment

Quote:

Originally Posted by sms0511

If I had to hear ONE MORE time about how a "virtual" website takes over REAL life, such as this, I'm going to have to shoot myself!

Look sweet cheeks! He's your boyfriend, which means obviously that you see him in person a couple of times a week, at least, right? So if that's the case, WHY do you have to hunt him down on the Internet? Perhaps the reason why he hasn't added you on Facebook is because he respects your Internet privacy.

Look honey, just because you're dating someone does NOT mean you have to know EVERY single person he's friends with, REAL or online. You're looking a REAL life example right here. My husband and I both own our own facebook's. But do we add each other as "virtual" friends"? Nope. Why bother stalking each other online? If we want to blow "kisses", we can do so at home!

The only reason I can think of why you REALLY want to be on his friends' list is just so you can "keep record" on what he does online, which crosses some "trust" issues. If that's the case, then your REAL problem is NOT why he won't add you onto his facebook -- the REAL problem is WHAT makes you SO insecure that you have to know his every single move on facebook?

Oh, and by the way, with facebook, you can still see his friends w/o having to add him to your friends' list. But don't make me be the one giving you any funny ideas now!

You may not have this intention, but your "Look sweet cheeks! Look honey" comes off as condescending as all hell.

Any way, if my dh wouldn't add me as a friend on fb, or whatever, I would find that to be odd. I suppose everyone uses their accounts differently, but we use it to be in touch with friends, families and to stay current with whatever events we're attending. I cannot come up with one reason as to why a SO wouldn't want their partner to be a friend...any where. Providing the relationship is bringing happiness.

To the OP, obviously your SO wants to hide it from you. Perhaps you should just ask him why. There's probably a good reason and the information could lend to future decisions in your relationship. That's always a good thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BangBangShrimp

I am not your girlfriend, so don't worry.

I'm not going to bring the Facebook issue up to him any more than I already have because although it hurts my feelings, it's not something that I want to argue about with him. That's why I'm choosing to vent about it on this message board instead.

To the woman that said she and her husband aren't on each other's friend's list and that I'm just insecure and want to track my boyfriend's every move- that's not the case. I do have some insecurities about our relationship that aren't related to Facebook, but I'm not worried that he's cheating or anything like that. I respect his privacy and understand that social networking sites can cause unneccessary drama. Maybe it's better that we're not on each other's friends list. It's not that I want him to add me to prove that our relationship is "real", and I know that some people are very private and don't want all of their Facebook "friends" in their business. I don't use Facebook much myself and most of the people on my friends list aren't truly my friends, so it just hurts me a bit that the one person that I do truly care about and who supposedly cares about me won't add me.

Ok, you are all about contradiction. First, you said that you respect his privacy, but yet you WANT him to add you to his facebook. Either you respect his privacy and leave him on his facebook and NOT make an issue about it, or you become so nosey that you want him to add you so that you know what he is up to on facebook.

Second, you said that you have "some" insecurities, but those insecurities have nothing to do w/ him being on facebook. Little darling, facebook has everything to do w/ whatever insecurities that couples have in relationships! It opens up doors to WORSE level of insecurities, now that you have "some" level of them. If you have "some" level of insecurities now, you'll feel it tenfold more when you see chicks hotter than you leaving comments on his page that (gasp!) you have no idea who she is, which would lead you to ask him later on, "hey hun, who was that chick that left you that comment?"

So my advice to you is to keep your insecurity level about him in check before you go on and try to "friend" him online.

Third, you say that you, yourself, just like him, don't use facebook that often. If that's REALLY the case, then why get all hot and bothered over the fact that he doesn't add you to his facebook? If facebook is not that important to you to check everyday, then "obviously" you shouldn't even bother w/ feeling "hurt" that he doesn't add you to a virtual world such as facebook.