For space is wide and good friends are too few
What is filk? Hard question. Easy answer: the folk music of the science fiction fandom. Thing is, it doesn't always sound like folk music, and it's not even close to all about science fiction. We've got singers and rappers, guitarists and accordion players, keyboardists and bodhran-wielders. We'll take sad songs about space and ballads from the back pages of Mercedes Lackey novels, songs that are strings of innuendo based on Star Trek, songs about gaming, politics, Shakespeare, Kipling, cats, escapism. Songs to the tune of one song, referencing three more songs, making jokes about a sci-fi convention that happened back in the 60's and speculating about the furture of space travel. It's music fit for Dothraki; it takes what it likes and goes where it will--but it has also become the bardic historian of fandom, and it's one of the most inclusive and accepting musical traditions of Western civilization. We want you, your three banjo chords, and your truth. And by "truth," I mean excess emotions about comic books. This blog aims to educate the uninitiated, bring new music to enthusiasts, and promote anyone who wants to be promoted.
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See more posts like this on Tumblr Okay folx, last chance to back the Misbehavin’ Maidens’ 3rd Album Kickstarter! It ends May 10 at 10 p.m. EDT! We are a 100% indie, self-funded band. The album we’re funding, “Swearing is Caring,” is full of wonderfully nerdy, feminist, LGBTQIAP+-inclusive filk music, plus a lot of swearing, because #Big2019Mood,
y'all. It’s got songs about libraries, anxiety, what not to say after sex, mansplaining, catcalling, Star Trek, Harry Potter, and more. Because we’ve met stretch goals, everyone who backs the Kickstarter gets bonus stuff, too: 1. All physical-reward-level backers will receive a “Swearing is Caring” sticker 2. ALL backers will receive a bonus, downloadable coloring book page 3. All $5+ level backers will receive an early-release single IF we hit our $17,500 stretch
goal (and as I write this, we’re less than $500 away!) Backer-exclusive rewards (ones you won’t be able to get anywhere else) include: 1. Skull pillow 2. Drunken postcard 3. Glittery variant “Swearing is Caring” enamel pin So don’t miss out! And thank you to everyone who has supported the campaign so far - please continue spreading the word! And even if you don’t have money to spare right now, reblogs are super helpful. Thank you for boosting the signal!More you might like
Last chance to back the Misbehavin’ Maidens’ 3rd Album Kickstarter
from the album “Sloppy Seconds” Traditional, rewritten by Caroline Boulden lyrics If you want to take a picture, get consent If you want to take a picture, get consent If you want to take a picture, they’re a person, not a fixture, If
you want to take a picture, get consent If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent If you want to touch their cosplay, and don’t want to cause them dismay, If you want to touch their cosplay, get consent If you want a big embrace, get consent If you want a big embrace, get consent If you want a big embrace, there’s a way to close the
space, If you want a big embrace, get consent And if they still say no, back away If they still say no, that’s ok If they decline your advance, it’s their body, not your chance If they still say no, just GO AWAY
from the album Sloppy Seconds “I wanna make out with you at cons
Don’t wanna be your girlfriend, don’t wanna
date
Just wanna make out with you when it’s convenient
When we’re cosplaying”
from the album Sloppy Seconds Lyrics Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true Our Saber is a Slytherin Our Saber’s quite a kinkster Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true Our Rouge, she loves the Dresden Our Rouge once screwed some Trekkies Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true Our Lucky loves Tom Hiddleston Our Lucky makes cosplayers blush Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true Our Flint “bangs” a bit differently
To the tune of “Bang Away, Lulu”
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans
do when the Maidens are all gone?
She loves silver and green
She’s good at speaking Parseltongue
If you know what I mean
They know her far and wide
She said to Westley,
“As you wish,“
Now she’s the Princess Bride!
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens,
bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
His books she does applaud
And if she ever met him
She’d ride his blasting rod!
The answer to their prayers
She likes it rough, and now they know
Why Riker straddles chairs!
The fans will come from miles
around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
He gives her all the feels
She thinks she’d get the best of him, but
In the end she always kneels!
With her sweet affections
Don’t flirt with her in spandex, boys;
It don’t hide erections! (That’s
true!)
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
She brought her gun to con
Shot off The Doctor’s stetson
While dressed up as River Song
Our Flint she once met Link, they say,
She made that hero drool
But then she left him in her dust
And went to save Hyrule!
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
Bang away, Maidens, bang it sure and true
The fans will come from miles around for a good ol’ Maiden screw
Oh, bang away, Maidens, bang it good
and strong
What in the world will the good fans do when the Maidens are all gone?
To the tune of “The Mermaid” — It was Wednesday morn when we engaged Boldly going places man has never known When up on the Bridge, they spied a Romulan ship Far away from the Neutral Zone Chorus: And the planets
they do roll, And the distant stars they glow And we poor Ensigns are running round the ship While civilians they lie down below (below, below) While civilians they lie down below Up spoke Number One of the Enterprise And he was a handsome bearded man He straddled a chair with his very long legs And said, “Captain do we have a plan?" Chorus Up spoke the Captain of the
Enterprise
And a well-spoken man was he "I don’t want to tangle with the Romulans, I would rather drink my hot Earl Grey tea!" Chorus Up spoke the doctor of the Enterprise She was a strong willed woman in blue She said, "Captain come on, you have to run this ship All the crew is depending on you!" Chorus Up spoke Lt. Commander of the Enterprise And a curious android was he "Can someone please explain why this Romulan ship Has decided to break the treaty?" Chorus Up spoke the pilot of the Enterprise And a nerdy little genius was he He said, "I think that we should…" "Shut up Wesley!!" Chorus Up spoke the engineer of the Enterprise And his visor was really high-tech "I hope that this conflict doesn’t take that long I’ve a date waiting
on the holodeck." Chorus Up spoke the counselor of the Enterprise And a very pretty empath was she "There’s a Romulan vessel outside of this ship And I sense the Romulans are angry" Chorus Up spoke Security on the Enterprise And a very moody Klingon was he He said– "Klingons do not sing space shanties." Chorus X2 Space Shanty
To the tune of Metro Train Melbourne’s
“Dumb Ways to Die” — Stop for pictures at the top of the stairs, Try to lick all of the vendor wares Rush a panel room when you’re told to wait, Tell a Xenomorph you wanna procreate Chorus: Dumb ways to con, So many dumb ways to con, Dumb ways to co-o-on, So many dumb ways to con Keep a Tribble as a pet, Sell a vial of Chris Evans’ sweat, Enter the
Pokemon tourny with all bidoof, Do a barrel roll off the hotel roof Chorus Challenge a Wookiee to a fight, Smoke a cigarette and set your wig alight Go to the LARP with a sharpened sword Throw some chimichangas at a Deadpool horde Chorus Yell spoilers at the Game of Thrones shoot, Tell an Alucard his Carmen Sandiego’s cute, Go to the rave when you’re feeling faint Hug
somebody while in unsealed body paint Chorus Agree to a group skit without committing… Watch all of Evangelion in one sitting… Go all weekend without taking a shower, Chug energy drinks and just live in the game room Blow your money on swag and forget food’s important, They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly The dumbest ways to con, The dumbest ways to con, Dumb ways to
con-o-oooooonnn… So many dumb So many dumb ways to con….Dumb Ways to Con
To the tune of “Jogging” Slytherins are evil That’s what other houses say! But as a Slytherin I aim to change your view today Slytherins aren’t terrible We’re just misunderstood Just because we’re little power-obsessed Doesn’t mean we can’t be good Chorus: Oh Slytherin, oh Slytherin They all think you’re bad But a Slytherin will be the Bestest friend you’ve ever had! Slytherins can be so kind They take care of their friends They’ll find for you a meal Cuz you “forgot your lunch again”! Slytherins are Misunderstood
They really are the sweetest
It just doesn’t always show
But don’t ask them where they got that sandwich
You don’t want to know!
Chorus
Slytherins watch out for you
They’ll make sure you’re ok!
They’ll tell your ex to [bleep] right off
And make them go away!
They’ll respect your choices
When you want to win or quit
And most of the time will manipulate you
only a little bit!
Chorus
A Slytherin will open up
If they think you’ll listen
You know they care about you
If they don’t just hold it in
Expressing their emotions
Is not their strongest trait
Unless, of course, you count the feelings
Sad, mad, fear, and hate.
Chorus
I hope I’ve helped you all to see
That Slytherins are fine!
You don’t have to reject us
You just have to have a spine!
Your Slytherin can be bad at knowing
Where some boundaries lay
That’s why we all need our Hufflepuffs
To keep us all at bay!
Chorus x2
crystalandrock
After months of promising dogofulthar that I’d make him a filk song called “Hey Nosferatu”, I finally got around to it. So here you go, a brand new filk about Nosferatu by someone who knew nothing about Nosferatu (and then went on the wiki page for last minute research). I used chris clark's karaoke version of Hey There Delilah for this. Thanks to them for having a slightly
higher version than usual, eek! Also I apologize for my voice and my lack of breath control. I blame Nosferatu for draining my life essence just before recording. LYRICS: Hey Nosferatu, what’s it like in Transylvania? Hey Nosferatu, don’t you worry about the
distance, Oh, it’s how you’re draining me, Hey Nosferatu, I know times are getting
mean Hey Nosferatu, when she let you have your way Oh, it’s how you’re draining
me, A thousand rats seemed pretty grim Hey Nosferatu, you were evil, now you’re history Oh, it’s how you’re draining
me,
You’re four-hundred years old now and spreading plague throughout Germania
Thousands die,
But only two people know why,
What can they try?
Though the ship’s journey is long you’ve got the crew for your subsistence
Still their breath,
Show them why you’re the “Bird of Death”
Till no one’s left.
Oh, it’s how you’re draining me.
Oh, it’s how you’re draining me,
Oh, it’s how you’re draining me,
How you’re draining me.
With all the rats that you’ve released the town’s declared a quarantine -
It’s done no good
And Ellen wonders if she should
Become your food.
I guess that you forgot to check the clock for at the break of day
You fell apart,
For Ellen she was pure of heart
And awfully smart.
Oh, it’s how you’re draining me.
Oh, it’s how you’re draining me,
Oh, it’s how you’re draining me.
But they were beat by her and him
And mankind somehow ended your dark plan
At least you got their countrymen
And Ellen will never laugh again
You know she’s looking rather pale and wan.
Count Orlok, I can promise you
That even
though your reign is through
The world will never ever be the same,
And you’re to blame.
But you’re still alive on film and in the heart of classic mystery
It’s surreal
Both our blood and hearts you’d steal
So though you see me as a meal,
Hey Nosferatu, I really feel
That you’re ideal.
Oh, it’s how you’re draining me.
Oh, it’s how you’re draining me,
Oh, it’s how you’re draining me,
How you’re draining me.
“Mermaids and Queers,” our song based on this Tumblr post about asexuals and sirens. How would mermaids lure people of various sexualities? This video has captions and ASL interpretation, thanks to the hard work of Kat Sharp (Sharp Productions) and Judi Miller (interpreter). We recorded this in lockdown for our virtual concert at the 2020 Ohio Valley
Filk Festival. The professionally-recorded version can be found on our third album, Swearing is Caring.
tigergingicat
A bit of vampire lore that Anne Rice stole from Bram Stoker (and that Bram Stoker made up), and a song that Jodi Krangle wrote
about the Anne Rice version. Given today’s Dracula Daily of the captain’s log, it seems like a fun day to post it. Could be considered spoilers for Dracula if you don’t already know this bit of lore…